It may be a safe bet to say that every parent agrees that parenting is no easy job. In fact, it requires a lot of patience and skills as well. Yes! Parenting requires skills. Like learning how to talk to your child is one skill that most parents fail in, and usually ends up affecting the child in the long run. Parents need to know that children take everything they are told literally which means that the way you address them will go a long way towards building their personality and life too.
Every parent has gone through this at one point of the other with his/her child or maybe been on the verge of it. But even so, here are seven things that you must always avoid at all costs, saying in front of your kids no matter how mad you may be at them.
1. You are a bad boy/girl
Negative thoughts kill the child’s self-esteem, which is a bad idea. Children are born innocent and believe in the goodness and positivity. And as a parent, it is your duty to always tell them that they need to be good, positive, and happy. Your kids also need to know that some actions and words are bad and can hurt other people and that they must never do or tell them to others. But never tell your kids that they are bad.
2. Why aren’t you like your brother/sister?
Another thing you must never do to your children is to compare them. It will only make them jealous and feel left out in the family. This is what will drive the feeling of failure and dislike for the other siblings. Here is where hatred starts between brothers and sisters because of something you said as the parent.
3. A straight ‘NO’
The kids that hear ‘no’ coming from their parent’s mouths all the time, usually ends up losing confidence that they have with their parents. They know that their parents won’t approve of anything that they do. Instead of saying a straight ‘no’, you can try and talk to the child softly and make him/her understand that whatever they are doing isn’t right or divert their attention elsewhere.
4. You can’t do this
This is somehow similar to saying a plain ‘no’ to your child. It will shake their confidence in themselves. If your child wants to do something, as long as it won’t hurt them, you can give them the chance to try it out. Like if your child wants to lift a heavy chair, don’t tell him/her that he can’t do it, but instead you can even opt to help him out. A simple ‘let’s do it together’ will work magic in your child.
5. Don’t talk to me
Why on earth would you deny your child the chance to talk to you? It doesn’t matter what you are going through at work or in your relationship or whatever, you must never turn your child down when he/she wants to talk to you. You will only be subjecting your child to fear of you and loneliness which will definitely affect his/her personality and relationship with you.
6. Girls/boys don’t do that
Never create gender-biased rules with your children. A child is a child. Just let him/her be. Let your kids decide for themselves and don’t stop them from exploring the things that they are curious about or are good at.
7. Leave me alone
This is almost similar to the ‘don’t talk to me’ point. As a parent, you are everything to your child. And demanding that they leave you alone can make them feel like they are not wanted or loved. There is no excuse for wanting to push your kids away. No matter how difficult time it is for you.